Living With Emetophobia

     Hey everyone! I hope you all had an amazing Father's Day! Today I wanted to talk about what it's like living with Emetophobia. It's not as difficult or as easy as you would think. At quick glance, you can't tell the difference between someone who has Emetophobia and someone who doesn't. It's all in the way they act. Most of them have some anxiety and panic disorders. They tend to be more on edge and aware of their surroundings. When sitting in a room they may look around and see where they can go if they feel like they need to get sick or if someone else does. I know when I'm in a classroom I like to look around and find the trash can. I then mark it in my mind and see if there is a way I can avoid it if someone gets sick in it. So for example, my old math class. It was on of the few math classrooms that only had one door and there happened to be a trash can right next to it. So if someone was getting sick in it, I wouldn't be able to exit through the door because I'd be too panicky. My next instinct was to check the windows. There were about 6 windows lining the right side of the room but 2 of them were being covered by a bookshelf. I then noticed that the 2 windows closest to me had iron bars on the outside of them so I wouldn't be able to get threw them. I decided the other 2 were my only option of getting out if someone was throwing up in that trash can. I'm not too sure if other people do that or if it's just me though.
     Another thing I'm known to do is constantly check and see if something is okay for me to watch. I've already talk about how I found an awesome site that tells me if someone gets sick in a movie and that has been a total lifesaver! I used to have to rely on my dad's memory and a lot of the time that lets me down. I know he doesn't mean to give me a panic attack, it's just hard to remember sometimes. Especially because he likes to show us stuff from his childhood and I highly doubt he's going to remember something from like 30 years ago. (He's 39 by the way). So ya, that site has been amazing. The only thing is it doesn't help me with TV shows. So I try to be very careful with what shows I watch but sometimes it catches me off guard. I can usually tell when someone might get sick because I'm super sensitive to the warning signs but sometimes it gets me. Like I was binge watching the show Attack on Titan and at one point someone just randomly throws up. My brother had seen that episode before so I once again trusted that he would tell me but he also forgot. It happens man. I cried a little bit but I kept watching the show because my brother kept yelling at me and said it was my fault because I took too long to watch it. I also used to watch Total Drama Island all the time. I never had a problem with people getting sick in it because I knew it was fake but as my fear progressively started to get worse, I wasn't able to watch it anymore. I slowly started to get back into it again and now I'm attempting to watch Total Drama Pahkitew Island but it's hard for me. I'm not quite watching them in order because my brother is trying to get me to watch the ones he knows for sure no one gets sick in. So my Emetophobia has made it hard for me to enjoy shows I used to be really in to.
     It's also really hard for me to hang out with friends and family. Vomiting is very uncontrollable and unpredictable. That's what really gets to me. I can constantly see someone getting sick on or around me. I'll be standing with a group of friends and my mind will start to go into panic mode. I'll be able to sit there and play out a scenario where they get sick everywhere. That's usually when I walk away. It tends to confuse my friends but I think they get it after a while. I also have 2 friends who like to smoke and drink a lot. Meaning they like to talk about how often they get super drunk and throw up everywhere. I usually check out at those times but sometimes I just leave because I don't know what else to do. I also don't go out with friends all too often. I tend to miss some really awesome oppurtunities because of it but I guess it's alright. I'm kinda used to it at this point.
     I thank all who made it to the end! I'm running out of stuff to write about so anyone has any ideas that would be great! I'm also here to answer any questions. Just comment and I'll totally get to it! Thanks so much!